This past weekend I read a blog post that deeply saddened and upset me as a mother raising a son and a woman about to marry a wonderful man. It suggested that men are trash based on a recent hashtag movement of the same phrase. At first, I thought the post was simply reporting on a trend until I realized with disbelief that it was strongly biased towards promoting the idea.
To support her argument, the author explained a sexual crime against women called stealthing. She also included statistics on domestic abuse (1 in 4 women faced violence from within their own homes and relationships, and every six hours a woman is killed by a former or current intimate partner) from an annual victims of crime report in South Africa where she lives. These statistics painted a grim picture that made me want to see the report myself, so I googled it and used keywords to search through the 127 pages.
It took awhile, but I finally found the data source cited and concluded that she used some math and made an incorrect assumption to arrive at the 1 in 4 stat. Two categories for sources of assault were combined to get 25%, and the report never mentioned that the victims were women at all. It said individuals, so it’s possible that some of them were not women. The other statistic I never could find, but I got the overall impression from the report that the crime of murder for the households surveyed was rare. So the ‘every six hours’ statement seemed like a stretch.
I’m not saying the claims aren’t true, but I could not verify them from my search of the document. My point in sharing all of this is to show that data can be manipulated to support any desired narrative.
I do believe that crime against women around the world exists and that it needs to be exposed and called out. However, I am not here for promoting the idea that men are trash and here’s why:
1. God sees value in all humans he created, even when they don’t see it in themselves or others, and they misbehave as a result. So, no one is trash. It would have been better to point out the behavior as trash and leave the mislabeling of all men out of it.
2. One could argue that if these men are trash, then what does that make the women in their lives who raised them and grew up beside them? Hmmm?
3. There is an attack on the institution of the family going on right now. I know of too many men devastated by divorce financially and emotionally. Some unallowed to see their children. How does it help to kick men when they are already down by spreading these ideas across social media?
4. When we down men to other women, we only shoot ourselves in the foot. It reinforces the idea of hate towards men that drives them to hate us back. After all, those men who are yet sill impressionable will rise to our expectations if we constantly tell them they are trash. Put another way, labeling men with such hateful words is the very thing that feminism fights against for women, unfair treatment. You cannot fight hate with hate.
So what should we do instead to combat all levels of mistreatment towards women? Whatever we do, we shouldn’t perpetuate the problem, but be a solution. Stop sharing such hateful propaganda in social media. I don’t care how evil a man is, at his very core there is probably a scared and or hurt little boy who is acting out against society and the enemy they perceive: women. Continue to bring awareness to the ills of society. Raise our boys to cherish women and not harm them. Love our husbands, brothers, and fathers. Uplift them with our encouraging words. And lastly, we would better serve our fellow women to empower them towards becoming self-sustaining and getting out of situations that endanger their lives, not teach them to trash a whole population of men.
What do you think? Do men deserve to be called trash?