Being a single, working, mother is SUPER hard. Well, being a mother period is not the easiest job. Your job begins the moment you find out there is a little one growing in you because they are counting on you to give them the nourishment needed to have a healthy time in the womb. Once your little one has arrived, they are totally depending on you.
Let’s add working to the equation. From 9 to 5 you are superwoman in the boardroom, handling calls, putting out work fires that you didn’t ignite, and making sure your area is functioning to its full potential. When you leave work, you’ve got to pick up the little one, get dinner started, along with homework, feeding the little one, bath and then possibly a little quiet time. However, don’t forget there is still laundry to be done, and your house isn’t going to clean itself.
Let me add the one thing to the equation that has been on my mind heavy since I have been single: DATING.
How do I even begin to date again? Should he ask me out? What do I wear? Can I get a babysitter? What if he’s not interested because I have a kid? How will I know it’s time for him to meet the little one? So many questions plague your mind as a single mother ready to get out in the dating world again.
So let me say this to all the men out there, who are possibly considering dating a single mom. Here is my point of view:
BE PATIENT: There is a 100% possibility that I will have to cancel. If my little one gets sick, or I can’t secure a sitter at that time, we are going to have to reschedule. *If she’s a great mom, she’ll put her child’s needs first.* (That means, she’s a winner, fellas.)
BE GENTLE: I’ve considered a lot when it comes to dating. I have been hurt before, and I am truly guarded. Keep in mind that I am human just like you and I want you to win my trust and loyalty. It might take some time, but when you have me, you have me.
BE TRUTHFUL: I am always going to give it to you straight, no chaser, so as a single mom, I expect you to do the same. If you don’t think that she is what you’re looking for, then say that, and allow someone else the chance at loving her.
BE RESPECTFUL: The last and most important one. Be respectful of her time, soul, heart, and her as a woman. We all have come from a woman and it takes a lot to get us here. Let’s remember how we would want someone to treat our mothers and our daughters. A single mother’s time is so valuable. Why? Because she is all her child has. My son and I have a great support system, but 99% of the time, it’s just he and I. If you decide to waste it, that’s time taken away from my son that he and I can be doing something constructive with.
Dating is hard for anyone, but for a single mom, it takes time, a whole lot of effort and even more perseverance. Single moms entering the dating world, I say to you today, take your time, and enjoy allowing the right person find you. After all, I’ve been through, it’s refreshing to date someone who gives you all he has. Trust me, it’s a great feeling!
To my FATZ:
Thank you for coming back into my life at a time when loving me was so hard. You helped me breathe again, and I am forever grateful to you for it. I found love in you, and it caused me to love me too. Thank you for loving my son like he is your own. Watching you two makes my heart smile. Every day you find a new way to show me how special I am to you, and my heart is truly overjoyed. #overthemoon #nomattertheweather
Love, Your Diva