One of the problems with mom groups and playdates is that so many of us show up pretending like our motherhood journey is easy. As if we did not have to deal with tantrums, massive blowouts, moody pre-teens and a lot of crying before leaving the house. Why is it that we get in these group settings and mask behind our makeup? Raising children is not easy, but we rarely hear that. The perception of motherhood is a bouquet of roses, but in reality, we have a bouquet of roses with a broken vase.
I have been in many group settings with moms, and each time everyone “pretends” that they never struggle. That to me is very intimidating. Since the mom next to me is so happy that they never have any problems with their child, something must be wrong with me. Well, it took me awhile to realize that nothing is wrong with me, something is wrong with the expectations that are put on moms. Moms are expected to act like we have it together, all the time. But why? Raising these little people is hard. There are a lot of emotions involved and a lot of decisions to be made.
Once I began to really know other moms, individually, I saw that we are all the same. We are happy to be moms, but we are stressed, tired and sometimes overwhelmed by our children. We are trying to uphold an image that society and social media place on us. We are always quick to respond, “I’m fine or I’m great,” when asked how we are. But the reality is, we are tired, sometimes sad and really want to use the restroom alone.
So here is the challenge. Let’s be open and honest to those we meet and do life with. Let’s get the conversation going about the joy and struggles of motherhood. Let’s embrace this life together, be there for each other and stop hiding behind our makeup.